The Tender Bar by J.R. Moehringer
It has been years since I have completely fallen head over heels in love with a book, but I fell hard for this one. It took three hours to read the last fifty pages because I kept pausing - prolonging our break-up. Now I'm refusing to lend it out to anyone because I don't want the book to take any other lovers (at least, not my copy). Anyway, this is a memoir and so much more. It's beautifully strung like a guitar and just as musical. Moehringer tells his story about growing up fatherless in a NY suburb, where the regulars at the local bar helped him grow up. But it's so much more than that. It's impossible to describe the raw emotion and vulnerability he communicates when describing his first love, his true education, his family, and his destiny. You must read it. You will not be complete without it. There were many favorite quotes. Here are a few:
"I knew less about love than about constitutional law, but on the flight to Arizona I decided I was in love. Or else I was having a stroke. I was sweating, shaking, suffering pains in my chest. It didn't help that I could still smell Sidney on my hand, and in my pocket I found a crumpled napkin that bore her lip print. I held my hand to my nose, pressed the napkin to my mouth, and the flight attendant asked if I was ill."
" 'Do you know why God invented writers? Because He loves a good story. And he doesn't give a damn about words. Words are the curtain we've hung between Him and our true selves.' "
"He'd mastered himself. He knew that hard work was the right path for a man, the only path. He wasn't paralyzed, as I was, by the fear of making a mistake. When he bounced a pitch in front of me, or threw it over my head, he didn't care. He was experimenting, exploring, finding himself, and finding his way by trial and error to a kind of truth."
"I saw that we must lie to ourselves now and then, tell ourselves that we're capable and strong, that life is good and hard work will be rewarded, and then we must try to make our lies come true. This is our work, our salvation, and this link between lying and trying was one of my mother's many gifts to me, the truth that always lay just beneath her lies."
"I knew less about love than about constitutional law, but on the flight to Arizona I decided I was in love. Or else I was having a stroke. I was sweating, shaking, suffering pains in my chest. It didn't help that I could still smell Sidney on my hand, and in my pocket I found a crumpled napkin that bore her lip print. I held my hand to my nose, pressed the napkin to my mouth, and the flight attendant asked if I was ill."
" 'Do you know why God invented writers? Because He loves a good story. And he doesn't give a damn about words. Words are the curtain we've hung between Him and our true selves.' "
"He'd mastered himself. He knew that hard work was the right path for a man, the only path. He wasn't paralyzed, as I was, by the fear of making a mistake. When he bounced a pitch in front of me, or threw it over my head, he didn't care. He was experimenting, exploring, finding himself, and finding his way by trial and error to a kind of truth."
"I saw that we must lie to ourselves now and then, tell ourselves that we're capable and strong, that life is good and hard work will be rewarded, and then we must try to make our lies come true. This is our work, our salvation, and this link between lying and trying was one of my mother's many gifts to me, the truth that always lay just beneath her lies."
posted by Alice at 6:03 PM
1 Comments:
Hi Alice,
I was looking up what some people have said about this book. I am currently reading it (almost through) and I was looking up JR's dad on Google. I grew up in NYC/NJ and I remember "The Voice" Johnny Michaels. Anyway, that led me to your blog and I explored around a little. I just wanted to tell you I enjoy your writing, especially the line that you were afraid that the TSA might confiscate your q-Tips so as to avoid a bludgeoning on board and airplane.
John Lagan
Sandy Hook, CT
woodboy68@aol.com
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